I'm not sure for whom I'm writing this, maybe for myself or maybe for the hollowness of the 3w. I've crashed and burned as it were...my only mistake was believing and hoping. I don't blame her for the decision she's made because maybe... it was her way of saving us both from something that would have only hurt us. Whatever the reason, the effect remains and I'm left with a constant pain in my heart and a weariness of what's to come. Surely the future holds some sort of marvelous life for us all (for those that are very optimistic or high right now I'm sure you'll nod in agreement) but I don't see it. She's all around me despite how hard I try to forget, she's laced her life in mine and in the end whats a fabric without all its strands? I've become the same person whom I disliked for not being enough for her, for not showing her enough love, and the irony of that hits hard. I'll close this chapter in my life without a bookmark, hoping that the pages will start flowing again and make me forget it (I think someone's having writer's block...these pages are slow in coming). To whoever ends up reading this post, if you've been there then this should only reinforce what you've been through and I sympathize; for those for whom this is novel take note: no matter how much you declare your love for one another, no matter how perfect you are for each other, no matter how it started, if its not meant to be it will end, it will hurt, and despite the fact that I'm yet to do it, you'll move on leaving behind a part of your heart with her but having taken away valuable life lessons. Thank in your own way every lover you'll have, everyone who's shown you what love is because most likely they've sacrificed themselves too to show you that. To the one who's shown me what love and pain is, thank you.